It's about my pet dog; Oreo.
She died just this morning, due to complications in her kidney, and after having suffering a very painful heartstroke caused by a parasite called a "Heartworm". What crushed me the most, wasn't the fact that she left us... but the fact that I wasn't there to be by her side on her last moments before she breathed her last.
It pains me to even remember the moment the doctor broke the news that Wednesday evening and reliving the moment in my mind is still abit too much to bear. I still try my hardest to dry the tears that keep on falling down my face as I type this. Deep down, I hoped and prayed that my dog would return to us from the doctor after that fateful checkup. I tried so hard to believe that I'd come home and she would run off to greet me as she always did. I was looking forward to spending Christmas with her, along with the rest of the family. But fate had other plans, and she was taken away from us... hopefully to a better place than here. Where she won't feel pain anymore... where hopefully she will be very happy to be in and have all the food she will ever want and eat to her heart's content.
But I wish to write down and honor the memory of my beloved pet, and celebrate her wonderful journey here on earth... and the love she openly and freely gave to us... whom she lovingly embraced as her own family.
Most people who usually sees my posts in FB, knows that I'm a cat-lover. It's not that I don't like dogs (I own 3 pet dogs and one of them is Oreo), but I just don't want to get too attached to a dog. It's because in my experience, my earlier pet dog; named Whoopie (yes named after Whoopie Goldberg), broke my heart into pieces when he left this world. Reeling from that heartbreak, I swore never to get too attached to a dog again...
...And then Oreo came along.
She was a typical "askal" (street dog with mixed breed; a mutt of sorts), and she came into our home as a very young puppy. She was one of the puppies of our neighbor and she was given to us I guess in replacement of my pet dog; Whoopie. I was honestly reluctant, but my family, specially my youngest sister was insistent in keeping her. Among the 3 of us, she was the closest among us siblings to our dog Oreo. They look like best buds in a comedy flick.
And as such, she took the news of Oreo's death the hardest.
I may not be as close to Oreo, as my youngest sister is, but despite my initial attitude towards Oreo, she warmed up to me. Not because she was always there as our guard dog, but because she exhibited a zest for life and love for affection unlike any other. In so many ways, she brings so much joy and happiness in our life, that I think I caught her love for life and positivity. She has a certain charm about her that she effortlessly exudes. And she will always be there to make sure she brings a smile on your face, no matter how bad the situation is. I mean, just look at that smile.
Who could resist such a cute lil doggie trying its hardest to make your day brighter? :)
If that's not enough, she would even let us rub her belly! And the fun part is, she seems to love it!
She would do anything and everything, just to make herself adorable and loveable. No matter how silly or stupid, she is always game for anything. Whether rolling on dirt, jogging with us every morning, playing with us, jumping to give us a warm hug and lots of kisses, to just generally being silly. All just to see us smile and be happy. It's almost ironic to think that my pet dog knows alot more about "being human", than other people I've met in my life. I'd even go as far to say that she acts more human than those people can ever hope to be...
Inside the household, we all believe, that Oreo thinks she's human. That she's not a "pet", but a part of the family. Prolly because she grew up with humans, that she thinks she's one of us. In many ways she would try to show she truly understands us. Whenever someone in the family has a birthday, she would "sing" (meaning bark loudly in unison with us) "Happy Birthday" along with the rest of the family.
Yes that's Oreo, with her daughter Flurry (the white dog on the upper stair) and they are actually participating in wishing one of us a Happy Birthday that day.
And when we try to talk to her, she would bark in acknowledgement. And sometimes, when she feels that being cute isn't enough to cheer us up, she would try to let you know that she is there by your side... giving you a hand and letting you know that the world is not over yet... and that even if she's just a dog, she lets us know that she loves us whole-heartedly. And that she will often give her paw to let us know that everything will be okay...
I have been a recipient of her warm assurances. When my dreams and my life came falling apart, I cried out to my dog and vented my frustrations. Not only did she sit down and listen, but she tried her best to comfort me, by kissing me all over my face letting me know it's not the end yet. That no matter what, she believes that I'll make it. That loving assurance was enough to give me the strength to pick myself up and carry on. I certainly wish you are here right now Oreo to see me... I'm sure you'd be proud of me of how I turned my life around and made it much more better than it was before.
But it wasn't meant to be...
Little did I know, this would be the last week I'll ever get to see Oreo smile...
It was Wednesday evening, when my mom suddenly went to my room to ask me to help my youngest sister bring Oreo to the vet. I knew there was something wrong with her, but I thought it was just lack of appetite on her part as she hasn't been eating for days. Upon helping my sister bring our dog to the car, it became apparent there was something wrong with Oreo. She was so frail and thin, that she could barely stand up. She looked nothing like her usual self. Her eyes are swollen, almost popping out of its sockets. She looked like she was in pain, but she tried her best to hide it by trying her best to smile.
I took a spare towel and put it around her body and made it into a blanket. I sat by her side and rubbed her body trying to warm her up. As my hands brushed thru her body, I could feel the bones in her ribcage as I stroke her frail body... she was so thin and weak. I tried to comfort her by talking to her, trying to lift her spirits the best I can, the way she always had to me, as my sister drove the car frantically trying to race against time.
"That's my good girl, you're a strong guard dog aren't you? Cmon just a little more baby, we are almost there! Be strong for me my love."
"We are almost there Oreo, don't worry baby. Everything will be just like always okay! So don't give up on me."
"Just hang in there buddy, the doctor will soon take care of you. You will be alright..."
I held on to those words myself, hoping they would be true. That she would be alright. I hoped in my heart she would understand as well. That she would find comfort in my words of assurance. I was told by people that I have a "talent" of making the mood light and bringing sunshine when there is darkness. Despite my disbelief in that label, at that moment, I prayed it was true... if only to make my dog's dark days seem better. If only to bring sunshine to her eyes again, which is slowly fading to gray... If only to take away her pain and make her happy... just like before...
As we got to the vet, my sister immediately carried Oreo inside while I watched over the car. As soon as she came back, we both went inside to see how she's doing. The vet ran some tests and gave her alot of medications to ease her pain. The vet took some blood samples and temperature readings from her, as I watched helplessly on the side...
While the vet was out, I stayed by my dog's side. I whispered to her that things will be okay, stroking her head as I tried hard to crack a smile... wiping the tears that fall off my face at the same time. She looked so weak and so tired... a far cry of how lively and energetic she used to be.
The vet came back and asked me to follow with him to the laboratory. I could feel my heart drop, but I mustered the courage to believe it was just nothing serious. That its just probably some thing that can be easily treated...
I was asked to look into the microscope and I saw dozens of thread-like parasites squiggling around her blood cells. I asked the vet what was it.
It was called a "Heartworm"...
According to the vet, its a type of parasite that is transmitted by mosquito bites, and they reside in the host's bloodstream. They breed and multiply, till they congest and infect the host's blood veins wherein the host would then suffer a cardiac arrest due to the stress it's getting from the worm infestation in their main arteries...
Oreo's infection already reached her main arteries and is suffering a cardiac arrest, that's why she could barely walk that day...
I felt numb hearing it. I can't even remember what it was I said, but I remembered I was still in disbelief about everything I'm hearing. I asked the vet if there's anything he can do to help, and he told us that there is a possible cure, however Oreo is also suffering from another disease that day.
Her liver is already in bad shape...
She was in no shape to take the medication, as taking the medication would put a lot of strain in her liver hence she might die of liver disease instead. The vet then told us they would try to give her some shots to help reduce the pain in her liver, and at the same time suggested that we leave Oreo behind for them to take care of her in their facility and try to feed her with liver-friendly dog food to help regulate Oreo's diet, in hopes of fixing her liver problem first before administering the "Heartworm" vaccine. Faced with the situation, we decided to leave Oreo and hoped they can work a miracle for her case.
As soon as we got Oreo to her room, she struggled to get near me. I can feel she knew what was going to happen... that we will have to leave her that evening. I can feel her getting scared of being left all alone in that clinic. She tried as hard as she can to stand up to get close to me, and collapsed after a few steps. As soon as I saw her, I rushed to her side and let her know that I'm there for her and let her feel I won't abandon her. That its only for a few days while the vets take care of her. I tried my very best to reassure her and let her know that I'm there. I suddenly felt Oreo putting her head on my lap as she tried her best to be as close to me as she can. I felt bitter tears falling down my cheeks uncontrollably... as I tried to muster the courage to tell her everything will be alright. That she will be as good as new after the vets took take care of her...
But it wasn't...
Today, as I head home, I read the news of Oreo's passing in the clinic via Facebook. It was my youngest sister who announced the news... as she was reeling from heartbreak upon the loss of Oreo. Our dad's driver took her remains and buried her and paid the remaining balance for her stay at the clinic. And I wasn't even there during her last days on this earth...
I felt I abandoned her when she needed me the most...
As I write this blog entry down, I hope that wherever Oreo is... I hope she is finally free and happy. I'm so sorry Oreo to have not been there when you needed me the most... I'm so sorry that the best I can do for you is a lousy blogpost, when you've given me and my family so much more... When you loved us unconditionally and brought so much joy in our life.
And now... you are the second dog in my life to have broken my heart... and I thank you for all the wonderful memories you've left behind. I could never have asked for a better dog... no, a better friend than you. Rest in peace Oreo... I will miss you...
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